Me. And them. And us. And you (sir).

Until I began this course, self-concept wasn’t really something I thought much about. But after reading about the four concepts of the self mentioned in the text, I started to wonder about whether I could find examples of them within my own life. When it came to the independent concept, I simply saw myself with the surrounding members of the community – it seemed like instinct after contrasting myself about the other cultures I’d read about, who had much more collectively-oriented communities.

Despite this, though, I could see myself in the interdependent culture was well. I immediately thought of my view of myself when with my family, particularly when I read the phrase “the self must change if relationships change”. My relationship to my family has always felt like that, and not just in terms of physical support like food and shelter. I’ve always been able to lean on my familial relationships for emotional support when I was going through a rough time, and my family (especially my sisters) have gotten the same support from me. I think that even through we live in what is considered an individualistic society, many people in our culture feel the same as I do about their relationship toward their family. I feel pity for those who don’t.

Not surprising considering its name, the relational concept of the self made me reflect back on many individual relationships I have in my life. I immediately thought of my best friend – a lot of our friends weren’t around this summer, so most the time we had to depend on each other to find ways to fill up our free time (in the rare cases that I had some, with the combination of multiple summer courses and a full time job). Though you could most likely find a way to apply this to pretty much any relationship in your life, this is the one that I would, above all, describe as relational – to me, it feels the most “mutual” one I have.

The encompassing concept of the self is, to me, the easiest to identify. I’ve seen this within myself and others many times in the workplace. In my experience, it is often the people with more experience than you with whom you play the “subordinate” role in the relationship – and by contrast, when you have more experience than another, you feel like the “encompassing” figure. I remember a particular time when a new supervisor was hired at my part-time job in Antigonish. He was very nice, but clearly did not know much about the work environment as opposed to the staff who had been there for years, who really knew the ropes. You could feel the awkward stain within their relationships – though he was technically the “dominant” figure, he often ended up needed to slip into the “subordinate” role. Though it felt quite awkward, it was interesting to see it play out.

            I was surprised to be able to relate myself to the concepts pretty easily as I read through them – but afterwards, I understood that though some roles may be more dominant in certain cultures, they can be found pretty much anywhere. Nevertheless, it was eye-opening to really sit down and reflect on the different ways I see myself in relation to other people - it's the type of thing that's always there, but you don't tend to think about. This is one of the reasons I love Psychology - it gets you to reflect on aspects of living that aren't always explicitly obvious, but are fundamental parts of everyday life.